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John Forster: Music

8. One Billion Little Emperors


In circa 1970
Our Chairman made the policy
Of just one child per family,
On pain of sterilization.
Now several decades later we
Have unsurpassed prosperity.
Why? Because we're such a special,
Special, special nation.

Of one billion only children,
Each a golden treasure house of worth,
Each the most important
Human being on earth.
One billion little emperors,
Our parent's precious jewels.
One billion kids whose ball it is
So you’ve got to play by our rules.
You could call us self-confident
Or tell the truth and say:
We'll hold our breath and bite someone
If we don't get our way.
We wanted Tibet. We got it.
We wanted Hong Kong. We got it.
And now we really, really want Taiwan.

One billion only children
Never learned to compromise or share.
Yes we're spoiled rotten. Hey, guess what?
We don't care.
One billion little emperors
Took Deng Xiao Ping to heart.
He said, "It's glorious to grow rich!"
We plan to do our part.
We're serious and competitive.
We've got the stuff we need--
A magical mix of Mao and Marx
And capitalistic greed.
We don't much care about human rights.
We don't much care about copyrights.
We don't much care about any rights but our own.
One billion only children,
82% of whom are guys.
The girls all got adopted
And now live in Van Nuys.
And that's why we're so arrogant
And selfish and obtuse.
Our question to America is…
What's your excuse?

© 1998 Limousine Music Co (ASCAP)