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John Forster: Music

9. The Chief Executive Chain Gang


I did it. I admit it. I really cooked the books.
Thank God they didn't throw me in
With ordinary crooks.
I'm in a pen full of rich white men,
Paying for my crime
On the Chief Executive Chain Gang,
Doin' time.
They don't need high security
For high-up chief execs,
They've got us chained together,
One Rolex to the next.
Instead of stamping license plates
Or raking gravel flat
They've got us shredding documents.
(They know we're good at that.)
In the only slam where they give a damn
'Bout the stock market report--
The Chief Executive Chain Gang resort.

There's Enron cons and Worldcom cons,
We're all here on the ranch.
In D block Arthur Andersen
Has opened up a branch.
We're making great connections.
It isn't very hard
'Cause everyone who's anyone
Is right here in the yard.
In the only jail where a work detail
Is a great networking hub--
The Chief Executive Chain Gang country club.
(Playing through!)
Martha Stewart sent her crew to brighten up the place,
They spackled and they painted and hung curtains, just in case.
I love it! Ooh, chintz!
In two years more I'll be offshore
On a beach in Grand Bahama,
Sitting on my nest egg
With my fiduciary Mama.
And I'll tell her 'bout the hard time
That was soft as Ivory Snow,
'Bout the chef we all chipped in on
And the cases of Merlot.
'Bout the Joliet where I paid my debt
At a great insider price--
The Chief Executive Chain Gang
Vacation paradise.

© 2004 Limousine Music Co & The Last Music Co (ASCAP)