JOhn Forster - Songwriter, humorist, performer, music producer

Lyrics

             It changed the life I led,            Turned around my head.            I haven't been the same            Since the day I read Investing Online for Dummies. Which led to...Buying On Margin for Dummies. That led to...Home Equity Loans for Dummies.And though I'm on a losing spreeIt's gonna be all right, you'll see,'Cause I just picked up Bankruptcy for Dummies. I gave my daughter Dating for Dummies. Then she bought...Planning Your Own Wedding for Dummies. Then he bought...Anger Management for Dummies.Has it been painful? Yes, of course.At least they've got this great resource:Handling Your Own Divorce for Dummies.             Where everything you need to know            Is laid out neatly in a row            To give your life an easy overhaul.            When every illustrated tome cries            “Pick me up and take me home!”            It's the siren call of the Yellow Wall.            Calling all Dummies. I gave my wife Trompe L'Oeil for Dummies. She bought me...Plastering Your Walls for Dummies. Then...Wood Rot and Termite Repair for Dummies.And now I'm down to crumbling brick.My back is out, my heart is sick.So I bought Selling Your House Quick for Dummies.             I hadn't realized ancient Greek            Was just the thing I yearned to speak            Until I saw it on my Visa bill.            And every time I buy a book            They simply bait another hook            With the pointless thrill of a useless skill.            Calling all Dummies. Giving Up Smoking For Dummies led me to...Self-Realization For Dummies led me to...Finding Inner Peace For Dummies.But I'll never find my inner peaceUntil the day that they releaseGiving Up For Dummies For Dummies.
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