First rule of a Lab Mouse: never volunteer.When you see that Big Hand,Try and disappear.Hide behind the treadmillAnd you might not have to goAnd find yourself strung out on Sweet'n'Low. My Daddy was in the Control Group,And Mama was too.If you're not in the Control GroupThey experiment on you.Ask any mouse in any labAnd they'll give you the scoop,You got to, got to stay in the Control Group! The Big Hand got my sister,Grabbed her by the legs,Scrubbed her down with PhisohexAnd doctored up her eggs.We knew her kids, when they were born,Would be a total mess,But that's the price of progress, I guess.
Time went by; my sisters kids returned.They took some testsTo see how fast they learned.They raced the maze,They aced the hardest part.And then they ran it backwards.Geez these kids were smart! This control group's feeling dumb and dumber.Einstein in a lab mouse--what a bummer!We realized the Super MouseWould now become routine.Our next litter had to have that gene. So next time we saw the Big HandWe bravely volunteeredTo have our genes upgradedAnd our kids re-engineered.But it took us past the Smart LabInto a land of chrome,Where it strapped us downAnd gave us a shotThat activated a mystery geneSomewhere down thereOn our thirteenth chromosome. My Daddy was in the Control GroupAnd Mama was too,But the paradigm has shifted.Now everything is new.And any mouse who plays it safeIs on a dead end page.The mouse today is not afraidTo think outside the cage.I saw a chance, I took a shot.I was not afraid to fail.And that is how I got my extra tail. 
© 1999 Limousine Music Co & The Last Music Co (ASCAP)